I USED TO be like that

So I ran into a rather awkward conversation today, at least it was awkward for me. On Thursdays, I eat lunch at French table, where we are supposed to eat and talk seulement en français, but often people ignore that. I was having some pretty good conversations with people around me, and then toward the end, people near the foot of the table started speaking in English. It was all about "that boy with OCD." Nearly everyone on campus knows him or knows of him apparently. This is only the first I had heard of him.

The point is though, they were talking. Pointing out the things he does and discussing them, then going on to try to figure out why, then continuing, as often people do when talking about OCD, to point out their own quirks. Listening in on this conversation, as it was the same people I had been discussing life with in French only five minutes before, I felt awkward. As they continued to talk, I wanted to set them straight with facts and personal experiences, but I didn't feel it was my place for some reason.

For the first time since I have been here, I am uncomfortable with my own OCD.
The conversation at lunch really made me think: do people see me doing my stuff and talk about me over their mandatory lunch periods? Do they actually see t for what it is, or something else?

My real question is, since when did OCD become uch a widely used term for every little stupid thing? Since when did it become a 'competition' to have the most strange habits and title them under OCD? Do they even understand that it is more than just a little organization here, a little touching there? I don't think so. The term OCD is so widely used (often with the wrong verb) that people no longer recognize it so much as an actual anxiety disorder as they do an emotion.

As I sat listening to the conversation, I felt this incredible discomfort so that after a few moments, I just got up and left. It kind of made me think about and realize how far I have come and how thankful I have worked things out, put forth the effort to change, that I am not so bad as to be dubbed "that girl with OCD."

But really, what do you do in that conversation? It's not like you can come out and start talking, setting the facts straight, using the excuse of knowledge as the fact that you do have OCD, not when everybody else is going around saying things that for some reason make it seem like they are competing for the disorder. It really just seems like you are trying to get your sympathy bid in.

I guess I just have to leave it at something that if somebody is curious, they can ask, but until then I just have to get up from the table and ignore the conversation, completely content with the fact that I used to be like that.