A Year in the Passing

Tonight, is the Churchville-Chili Senior High School Senior Ball. WHAT?! But I just did that. It wasn't even a year ago...but the truth is, it was, and now my brother is going. Where did all this time go? The summer that lasted forever, the classes and days that felt like they would never end, the cold lasting winter and the days awaiting spring. So much has happened in the past year that I don't even know what to say.

One year ago I:

• was living out the last days of my high school life, thinking it mattered.
• was figuring out the friends who would stick with me, and those that would be better of I just let them slide.
• was experiencing a new culture thanks to three great girls who definitely helped pull me through my senior year.
• considered myself done with high school, but I was wrong.
• was dissecting a cat, a great experience.
• was stable.
• had a definite direction of where I was going and what I was doing with my life.

Over the past year I:

• have learned the real truths of college.
• have broken down completely.
• have experienced every possible emotion ever to exist.
• started to branch out.
• secluded myself and pulled in.
• made decisions and changed my mind.
• tried new things.
• learned how to judge people.
• have disappointed, and impressed.
• have swiped a lot of ID cards through a machine.
  

Right now I:

• am looking for a job.
• speak Pittsburghese fluently.
• am a sorority girl.
• am a little lost and unstable.
• am recovering.
• am waiting until the end of summer.
• am not going to see my closest Gheny friend for 8 months.
• know where my real friends are at home.
• have a new outlook based on new experiences.
• am very unsure of what is to come.

It's amazing how much things change in the first year of college.

Mother Knows Best

It is official that my mom has the same solution to every single one of my problems. "Go take a big shot of that vodka" or some other solution involving alcohol. Mom I have been having problems sleeping...well have a couple beers or shots before you go to bed. Mom, my wisdom teeth are coming in and I am teething like a four year old...try rubbing a little vodka on it, then just to make sure, take some tylenol and a couple shots...it should help you sleep too!

There are countless instances. I am just glad I have suck a relationship with my mother that we can comfortably talk about this stuff and that she can actually make those suggestions to me. I just wanted to get this in writing as a reference for when I am in my AA meetings. My mom is turning me into an alcoholic =)

Life Choices

It's been a while I know, sorry for all you Stacy's Blog groupies...wait...I don't have any? Damn.

Anywho, a lot has happened. I don't know about anywhere else, but here at Allegheny we categorize everything into life choices. Often times they are poor life choices. Taking the grass instead of the sidewalk and ending up covered in mud, playing a game or going out instead of studying, blogging for the first time in two months instead of doing your ridiculous FS project (how dare you accuse me!!!) but you get the point. Second semester has been filled with all sorts of decisions for me...life decisions. Should I do this? Should I join this? Should I apply for this?

One choice however stands out above the rest. It was a huge decision that I had to make immediately upon getting back, even before diving into my classes even. This single decision however has turned into the greatest life decision of my college career, to date and most likely through the next three years. That choice was to join Allegheny College's Mu chapter of Kappa Alpha Theta sorority.

I don't really care about your opinion of the collegiate Greek system...that you buy friends or it's just a bunch of hos coming together to get drunk all the time. Theta is different (as well as Allegheny Greeks in general.) I now have this great new circle of people who know me and share things with me. A whole new realm of opportunities has opened up. I can't enter a room without someone saying hello.

It's all hard to explain, but it all truly came out last night as I was dragged out to a mixer with one of the fraternities. It was great. I knew everyone and it was an exciting experience. Beyond that, I went to a fraternity hosted dance party, which I vowed never to do. But it was all made better by the fact that I was with about ten other girls who were vowing to stick together and create our own party at the party. From there came the best part, being able to just have fun as huge beautiful snowflakes soaked us to the bone. Snow angels in senior circle. Wrestling and laughing. It was simply amazing and all came to be the best night of my freshman year.

So I don't care what people want to say about me being in a sorority. When you can run across campus through the great hours of the night laughing and yelling out the apple bottom jeans song, completely comfortable and happy...that is a moment when you know you have found your place. I hope I have many more of these moments, and I am sure I will. For now, I am entirely content with it all.

Now about that project...

Oh Home

3 days. 3 finals. That's all that stands between me and Churchville.







But then yet, I question...do I really want to go home?

This is a bit whiney...

I made a simple comment today. One that so many of us in the hall make when we are stressed or avoiding work or pretty much think we're screwed on a project or something.

"I fail at life."

We usually laugh it off or support each other, or something else like that, but we never really do much about it. I made this comment because of several reasons. I have a French paper due tomorrow, which always stresses me out, I have a ton of other stuff happening in my life that I don't really care to share with everybody because they would not understand, and I really just want to get this next week and a half over with.

So yeah...I fail at life. One girl looks at me as she is slumped on her bed looking at her computer downloading a game and she pretty much yells at me; "shut-up. You don't even know the beginning of failing. You have an A in chemistry and I have nothing near it..."

Since when did the term 'life' come to mean 'academics'? I guess I don't really understand. Yes we are in college to study, but we also live here and living involves having fun. There is more to life than school. There is more to life than what seems on the outside. Sometimes people don't share everything that they are feeling and in conclusion ou have no right to honestly judge if someone else is failing at life.

Oh life...

So a lot has happened recently that just has really brightened me life from my last entry. Melanie called me on Thursday, and I cried at the sound of her voice, I was so happy to be talking to her for the hour and seventeen minutes that we did. Perhaps the best conversation I have ever had. Thanksgiving is only TWO WEEKS away! That means I get to go home and see everyone and eat good food and get a Christmas tree, and it is officially the beginning of the final stretch of the semester. I can't believe it's almost over, the first semester of my first year of college. I just have to now face the stresses of registering for classes next semester. Above all though, the happiest thing in my life officially...Rachel Reeves is making a guest appearance at Allegheny College this weekend!!!!!!!!!

It's going to be the greatest thing ever to see her after a two and a half month drought. Not only that, I get to see her parents as well which is amazing since I consider them pretty much as my second family and I think it is so amazing that they are driving down to drop their daughter off at my school and pick her back up again.

It will be so much fun though. We can eat together, we can catch up on life, I can show her about my new 'home.' My friends here are all sooo excited to meet her...probably to see what type of person would last being my friend this long (just kidding.) But we will have tons of fun, bake pie, maybe go downtown...who knows. I am so very excited though, this will probably be the best weekend yet at Allegheny, I love it, but it is going to be so much better with Rachel here.

So let's move a little faster week...

...

I'm alive.

It's all that really matters.